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Column
17.09.15

Shorts and Starvation

“Seorang anak Sastra Sunda bahkan berkata: Dari Ave Maria ke Jalan Lain ke Roma adalah karangan Goethe (orang boleh pingsan deh).”~Soe Hok Gie Time then revealed that the Japanese came to Indonesia for something other than liberating the nation from Dutch colonialism. They did facilitate Indonesia’s national awakening by arming Indonesians and allowing the development of political organizations. It was with help of the Indonesian ruling classes and politicians that the Japanese got supplies of industrialized plants (e.g. rice paddy), railway lines and railway rolling stock to ship for Japanese in Japan or Manchuria. The Japanese arrival soon led to starvation and poverty in the cities of Java. Millions of male Indonesians also entered the forced labor industry, became romusha, to equip the Japanese war that was supposedly for Asia and lower class Indonesian women were then also involved in sex slavery. This indicates that the experience of Japanese occupation differs depending on one’s social status and geographical location. (Countrystudies) According to the Oxford Dictionary, history is a “continuous, typically chronological, record of important or public events or of a particular trend or institution.” One can learn about history from photographs, academic books and news archives, however, it is also possible to learn it from accounts of a person who witnessed it. Literature is another way people learn about historical events and such works are usually categorized as historical fiction, which has been a long tradition in the discipline. Fictional story is one way for the Greeks, Chinese and even Indonesians to share stories about the events, people and places of the past. The difference between literature and the documentary method of photography, academic books and news is in how the facts are processed. There is a cultivation of literary processes required to transform facts into fiction so that both components would complement each other. One of the most memorable Indonesian historical stories that I’ve read is in Dari Ave Maria ke Jalan Lain ke Roma (i.e. First published in 1948); a book consisting of various writings by Idrus in the forms of short stories, drama scripts and novels. Idrus was born the year 1921 in Padang in which famous writers such as Tulis Sutan Sati, Nur Sutan Iskandar, Marah Rusli and Abdoel Moeis were also from. Except Idrus, these Minangkabau writers influenced the development of modern Indonesian literature with a formal and serious writing style; moreover, their stories always have a moral component and sappy romance. This literary atmosphere was also developed and supported by Balai Pustaka. Even novels by Sutan Takdir Alisjahbana, who always championed Western literature, were still influenced by Balai Pustaka’s formula. His works were written in a formal style, incorporating Malay sayings and consisting of tearful characters without any humor. (Sarjono, 2014) Idrus, like other legendary Minangkabu writers, have worked two years at Balai Pustaka. He then also became a prominent writer. Idrus wrote his works with a revolutionary style that enriched our modern literature. His works have demonstrated that Indonesian literature can be written using sharp and straightforward words to convey humor and irony. His career as a writer started around 1942, the year Japanese arrived in Indonesia (Sarjono, 2014). This experience strongly influenced the content and satirical style found mostly in the Corat-coret di Bawah Tanah section of Dari Ave Maria ke Jalan Lain ke Roma. However, the criticisms and cynicisms continued following Indonesia's independence, evident in the Sesudah 17 Agustus 1945 section of the book. His works were written while he faced the harsh daily reality of Indonesia’s social, economical, political and cultural situations. The ironic realism style of his writings is what makes his stories universal and relevant to this day. A well-known short story written by Idrus, Kisah Sebuah Celana Pendek, the narrative begins on the day when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. Kusno, a fourteen-year-old boy, received a new pair of Italian made shorts, celana kepar 1001, from his father who knows nothing of politics. With the new pair of pants, he felt as if all kinds of job opportunities were open for him even though he was a son of an opas (i.e. servant and/or guard) whose highest education was Sekolah Rakyat (i.e. a term for elementary school during the Japanese occupation). Unfortunately, his hopes never became reality. Unlike Kusno’s family, who did not understand how much of an influence the attack on Pearl Harbor will have on the job market, the factories and offices knew the repercussions and of its coming impact. Not one place wanted to hire new employees. Kusno sincerely accepts the reality of the situation only when he must give up his position as a clerk and become an opas like his father. Kusno still worked diligently and as days passed the color of his shorts becomes dull from washing. Each month he only wished to get a new pair but ten Rupiah is not even enough to feed himself. What Kusno always thought about was his shorts - what if one day he could no longer wear it? Each day he prayed so God would not let the rain come pouring. He was worried of not being able to buy soap to wash his dirty shorts. The author described the hope for prosperity from the arrival of the Japanese troops through Kusno and his shorts. Kusno endured the poverty and starvation that handicapped many Indonesians during Japanese colonialism. Most Indonesians lived with a hope for independence but Kusno lived with a hope for a new pair of shorts and this motivated him for years. One day Kusno realized that his pants were almost torn and too dirty to wear, thus, he asked for a new pair to his supervisor but instead he received mockery. Kusno then quit his job and let go off his hope that did not seem to come true at all, just like the people’s dream for Indonesia’s independence. He thought of selling the shorts yet he knew that he will have nothing left to cover himself. Kusno thought that perhaps he can steal other people’s possessions but he believed in a God who told him not to do so. He gets a headache and it only worsens each day. Kusno knew that the only relief he can have is by consuming some food, but having nothing he can only eat dry leaves at night. The story ends with Kusno accepting the fact that his life is full of suffering, and he cannot comprehend why people wanted war. In Kisah Sebuah Celana Pendek, the historical event of the Japanese invasion is not simply a context for aesthetic. In addition, Idrus is not merely re-telling the historical event. The tragic story about Kusno’s life is not based on any real historical person. However, Idrus did write his stories based on what he perceived in kalangan rakyat who suffered most from forced labor and starvation during the Japanese occupation in the Dutch East Indies. Considerably, the historical event provides a room for Idrus’ criticisms towards the Japanese. For example, Idrus criticized the Japanese occupation that brought false hope for most Indonesians. This is noticeable in the irony of how Pak Kusno was still able to get a pair of new shorts for his son before 1942 but then Kusno starving under their rule. Idrus may want to convey that the Japanese caused even more suffering to non-elite Indonesians. Furthermore, Idrus’ short story indicates how, during that period, the aspirations of ordinary poor citizens to have a better life are neglected for the sake of the ruling class. Pak Kusno wished that his son could have a better life. Kusno himself simply wanted to buy a new pair of shorts but his hope could not come true due to the war’s impact. From Kusno’s life, Idrus also illustrated the lives of lower class Indonesians during the Pre-Independence era. Most of them only finished Sekolah Rakyat and this situation limits their ability to get better paying jobs in the workforce. Kusno’s character is described as a person who only nrimo (i.e. accept) whatever life throws at him. Kusno only nrimo when his clerk position was lowered to an opas. Moreover, his nrimo attitude is also evident when he accepted the Japanese at his town because, without knowledge of what the Pearl Harbor attack meant, he thought they would bring prosperity. Kisah Sebuah Celana Pendek reveals to readers that the education and economic limitations of lower class people makes them susceptible to be the victims of wars. Kusno’s starvation happens also because rice stocks–planted, harvested and processed by Indonesians in their own land–get shipped to Japan or Manchuria for the Japanese. Based on the daily events that Idrus witnessed (i.e. what happened to lower class Indonesians after the Japanese invasion), he transformed facts into a fictional story. His work Dari Ave Maria ke Jalan Lain ke Roma shows that literature could convey another side of our history, such that Kisah Sebuah Celana Pendek gave a narration about lower class people, who are easily and often forgotten. With literature, readers could learn not only the historical event but also its emotions. This is possible mainly because of the micro-perspective of lives affected by the war. Thus, perhaps reading historical fiction could complement how we could perceive history. Furthermore, for Idrus, writing about the past gives him space to criticize and raise awareness of injustices that happened. For us readers, reading about the past in Idrus’ short story inevitably would make some of us reflect on the present. “Tidak, rakyat sederhana tidak mau perang, ia hanya mau hidup sederhana dan hidup bebas dari ketakutan esok hari tidak mempunyai celana. Tapi orang tinggi-tinggi dan besar-besar mau perang, yang satu untuk demokrasi dan yang lain untuk kemakmuran bersama di Asia Timur Raya.” (Idrus, p.116) - Reference Idrus. (2002). Dari Ave Maria ke Jalan Lain ke Roma (20th ed.). Jakarta: Balai Pustaka. Oxford Dictionaries. Retrieved from http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/history Sarjono, A. R. (2014). 33 Tokoh Sastra Paling Berpengaruh. J. D. Rahman et al. (eds.). Jakarta: Kepustakaan Populer Gramedia. The Japanese Occupation 1942-45. Countrystudies. Retrieved from http://countrystudies.us/indonesia/15.htm Toer, P. A. (1999). The Mute’s Soliloquy. New York: Hyperion.

Column
16.07.15

The Life of Sounds in Indonesian Poetry

Sound was the preliminary foundation of human communication in poetry. It may indicate an event, a feeling or a message through the combination of its phonetic elements (i.e. rhyme, rhythm and metre). Indonesian poetry started as a verbal form of expression through pantun and syair, thus the sound was a vital foundation. Pantun was found all across our archipelago but the first examples of it were found in the 15th century in the Malay Annals whereas syair possibly came from the Middle East. The term syair itself was derived from the Arabic term of poetry (shi’r) and poet (sha’ir). These two main forms of classic Indonesian poetry have four words and four lines in each stanza (i.e. quatrain). One of their main differences can be found in their rhyming schemes. Pantuna usually have alternating rhyming schemes, a-b-a-b (i.e. rima silang), while syairs have a-a-a-a patterned rhyming schemes (i.e. rima menerus). Syairs have longer verses, which includes more than one quatrain, whereas a quatrain in itself is enough to be a pantun. The subject in syairs varies from love to historical accounts. For pantun, a quatrain typically consists of two couplets. The first two lines are called sampiran which contains illustration of nature or agrarian culture (e.g. description of a landscape, plants, or fruits) and the second is isi in which the intention of the pantun is revealed. Similar to syair, pantun can be used to express one’s love to another, but it can also be a social tool to communicate proverbs, moral propositions, jokes and farewell messages. In addition, the rhyming sound in a pantun was used as a mnemonic aid for the listener to help him/her to remember the message intended by the speaker. Below is an example from an infamous wisdom pantun: “Berakit-rakit dahulu Berenang ketepian Bersakit-sakit dahulu Bersenang-senang kemudian” The highly repetitive rhyming scheme written by Pujangga Lama, who wrote traditional pantun and syairs, has a significant influence on subsequent writing composition and styles of Indonesian poetry. However, the function of rhyme had and is still changing as writers keep on pushing their creative boundaries. In poems written by Pujangga Baru (from 1933), the writers usually have poetic dictions and illustrate beautiful entities or landscapes. Here’s Amir Hamzah’s poem Berdiri Aku: “Pohon pepaya di dalam semak Pohon manggis sebasar lengan Kawan tertawa memang banyak Kawan menangis diharap jangan Angin pulang menyejuk bumi Menepuk teluk mengempas emas Lari ke gunung memuncak sunyi Berayun-ayun di atas alas” A lot of Pujangga Baru poets employed the pantun rhyme scheme, with or without the sampiran and isi, despite of the prominent influence of the western poetry form, particularly the sonnet. In the poem above, the first stanza is a pantun and the second only retains its a-b-a-b rhyme composition. This kind of rhyme was used to create a flowing harmonious melody. Other than that, the rhyme produced by similar sounding vowels also creates a bond between words in each line of a poem. The meanings embedded in those words and how they sound holistically would evoke a feeling manifested in the poem. It was Chairil Anwar, a poet from Angkatan ’45, who first deviated from the traditional romanticism found in preceding poets, especially the Pujangga Baru writers. In Aku, he had made use of repetitive rhymes from -u, similar to a syair. In his poem, Derai-Derai Cemara and Pantun Kiasan, readers are again presented with the dominating Malay Pantun rhyme composition. Chairil used a pantun rhyme composition to produce a flowing melody and create cohesiveness in his poem similar to other poets before him. However, Chairil refused to romanticize his diction by using bahasa yang mendayu-dayu that was renowned by his predecessors. A striking difference in Chairil’s diction is that it was not bounded by what then were considered as conception of beauty (i.e. nature and bahasa mendayu-dayu). Agreeing with French linguist Ferdinand de Saussure, I think that language is dependent on its convention, which includes the sound of a word. In Indonesia, the word binatang jalang (i.e. bitch) that Chairil used in his poem is not immediately associated with beauty. In some contexts, it even carries a negative connotation. Moreover, less objectively, I would say that the sound -ng is not as pleasant as a mendayu sound from words that often ends with a vowel. In ‘Aku’ he used words such as seorang, binatang jalang, terbuang, meradang, menerjang. Those words indicate his resistance to use melancholic diction that is often found in poems preceding his. In these lines “Aku ini binatang jalang/Dari kumpulannya terbuang”, the poet demonstrates that the beauty of a poem does not have to depend on sacred and pretty words. Indeed, Aku is the most well known poem in Indonesia. Chairil was the first to demonstrate that banal words from the street and slums, reinforced by the -ng sound, can create deeper impressions on readers. Furthermore, I think that the -ng sound give a revolutionary edge to the message implied in the following poem. “Kalau sampai waktuku Ku mau tak seorang kan merayu Tidak juga kau Tak perlu sedu sedan itu Aku ini binatang jalang Dari kumpulannya terbuang Biar peluru menembus kulitku Aku tetap meradang menerjang Luka dan bisa kubawa berlari Berlari Hingga hilang pedih peri Dan aku akan lebih tidak perduli Aku mau hidup seribu tahun lagi” Similar to Chairil Anwar who re-defined the writing style of modern Indonesian poetry, Sutardji Calzoum Bachri from Angkatan ’66 also took a road less travelled. For previous poets, a word carries a certain meaning and you create creative perspectives by aligning them with another word to create a sentence. Unlike them, Bachri’s poems demonstrate how a novel creative perspective would emerge when words are liberated from their conventional meanings. Here is one of his most surreal poems, Sepisausepi: “Sepisau luka sepisau duri sepikul dosa sepukau sepi sepisau duka serisau diri sepisau sepi sepisau nyanyi sepisaupa sepisaupi sepisapanya sepikau sepi sepisaupa sepisaupoi sepikul diri keranjang duri sepisaupa sepisaupi sepisaupa sepisaupi sepisaupa sepisaupi sampai pisauNya ke dalam nyanyi.” It is quite obvious that an innovation of Bachri is in the mantra-like impression of his poem. In ‘Sepisausepi’ this effect is created from the repitition of sounds like -se, -sau, and -pi. Furthermore, this poem is also similar to a mantra because the words that he used and created have a whimsical charm. This poem was mainly developed from words such as pisau and sepi that we often use everyday. Bachri experimented with those words by adding and fused them together to become sepisau and pisausepi, which created novel sounds that presented unprecedented meanings. Because the words are untied from their usual meaning, words in that poem seem to carry secret hidden meaning, which is similar to a mantra. Bachri’s writing method overcame what he perceived as the dogmatism of Indonesian language (e.g. conventional syntax). With this method he wanted to convey the metaphysical understanding of spirituality and emotions to alienated modern individuals. He believed that, in this modern age, the essential understanding of such concepts and experiences does not necessarily get communicated through well-formed sentences. Alternatively, by focusing on the phonetic aspect of human speech, a poem could transcend the reader into the spiritual or emotional realm intended by the poet. Catching the meaning behind his poems might be harder than reading the meaning of a lyrical poem that describe and represent the poet’s experience or feelings. These different poems created in different eras reveal how sound in Indonesian poetry, particularly through the use of rhyme, is still retained, although its function has changed as years passed. Rhyme has been utilized as a mnemonic aid, glue in a poem’s structure and as an artistic expression of a poet’s message. The role of rhyme was very much related to the form and content of the poem. Then, Bachri innovatively used sound as a tool that allows a poem to communicate with its readers in a transcendental level by presenting words as themselves, not as words with certain meanings slipped in by language convention. With less emphasis on the form and content, this particular approach allows poetry to bring back the spiritual component of art. Some contemporary Indonesian poets may no longer use rhyme regularly in their work, however, some would still use it to emphasize on the meaning implied in the lines that rhymes. After all, rhyme certainly could add spice to a poem. - References Prasetya, E. & Utami, A. (2015). Estetika Banal & Spiritualisme Kritis. Jakarta: Kepustakaan Populer Gramedia. Rahman J. D. (Eds.). (2014). 33 Tokoh Sastra Indonesia Paling Berpengaruh. Jakarta: Kepustakaan Populer Gramedia. Ricklefs, M. C. (2008). A History of Modern Indonesia since c. 1200 (4th Ed). Retrieved from http://www.palgrave.com/page/detail/a-history-of-modern-indonesia-since-c.1200-mc-ricklefs/?sf1=barcode&st1=9781137149183

Column
18.06.15

Looking Through Literature

A writer can document the prevalent socio-cultural problems that occur in his or her environment. In literature, the writer responds to what he or she sees and transforms it into illustrative words or fictional stories and characters. This is perhaps why some fictional stories can convey the reality (or the truth) better than our filtered and constructed mainstream news publications. Thus, literature may represent the social reality of a certain era. Some of the themes used in old literary works are timeless and when you read those books the past and the present socio-cultural problems become indistinct. This is what I experienced when I read ‘Layar Terkembang’ by Sutan Takdir Alisjahbana (STA). Sutan Takdir Alisjahbana was one of the prominent Indonesian writers and thinkers in Indonesia. He suggested that Indonesian language must dissociate from Dutch language and grammar style and instead base it on Malay language. His career did not only involve teaching but also establishing a literary magazine, creating literary works and writing about the Indonesian language. On the international level he is known as a philosopher rather than as a writer (Mahayana in Rahman et al., 130-142). ‘Layar Terkembang’ (1936) is one of STA most famous work. In this book, which was published before our nation’s independence, he communicates noteworthy ideas and insights to us who lives in this Reformation era. In the 1930s, his perspective about youth, religion, the relationship between life and death that were discussed in that book would be considered unconventional. One of the primary themes within ‘Layar Terkembang’ that is still relevant today is about the emancipation of women. STA’s perspective about this socio-cultural issue is embedded in the lives (i.e. their thoughts and social relations) of the female protagonist in this novel. This novel tells a story of a woman who struggle to achieve her life aspiration, which is for women to have equal rights as men, and the frictions that may rise from it. Tuti and Maria, daughters of Wiriatmadja, have very different traits and life aspirations. Tuti, twenty-five years old, is portrayed as a serious woman who is active in a feminist organization known as Putri Sedar while teaching in a primary school in Petojo. She works tirelessly to achieve gender equality rights and this goal is grounded in her life principles and values. Maria is five years younger than Tuti. She is still finishing her last year at Hogere Burger School (Sekolah Menengah Atas) Carpentier Alting Stichting. Contrary to Tuti, she is a sweet talker who easily expresses her feelings and give praises to other people. Her vulnerability to emotions is shown not only through her reactions in social situations but also in her preferred conversation topics such as her friends, school and holidays. These are not as substantial as Tuti’s subject matters that usually include women’s rights, youth movement and religion. In a speech at her organization’s national congress, Tuti express to her peers that women need to be and are capable of being decision-makers in domains such as knowledge development, business affairs and the arts. This statement indicates Tuti’s hope for women to get involved in deciding the fate of their nation, which was not independent from the Dutch colony. Underlying that statement is also Tuti’s disagreement to a traditional norm that women should only work in domestic sphere to serve their men’s needs and a stereotype that women’s judgment are always clouded by emotions. Tuti’s organizational activity demonstrates her holistic self-image that does not only include an illustration that she is a feminist, but also an analytical thinker who is not easily influenced by emotions. At numerous times, Tuti’s self-image as an independent woman and a thinker are at odds with her needs for love. For instance, after Maria and Yusuf got engaged, Tuti, who initially embraced her organizational work, suddenly feels an emptiness and silence in her heart. This inner tension within her increases when she sees a shadow of Maria and Yusuf and hears their conversations from inside of her room. On some days, Tuti also recall memories of her previous wedding engagement that failed to last because she prioritized her organization works instead of her fiancé. During this internal turmoil Supomo, who teaches at the same school as Tuti, expresses his feelings for her. He is a kind and respectful man. Alas, Supomo is not a man that she looks up to because he does not share her passion for youth movements. Following a painful self-introspection, Tuti decides that she cannot accept his proposal. If she did, their relationship would not be more than an escape of loneliness, which she thinks would dishonor marriage. This signifies that Tuti appreciate marriage not as a step to validate one’s womanhood, a popular notion that persists today, but as an end that must be based on mutual respect and understanding between two individuals. When Maria fell sick from Tuberculosis, Tuti lives with Saleh, her cousin, in his home at Sindanglaya. Together with his wife, Ratna, they both educate female farmers around the area. Ratna, who followed her husband to work at a farm, also write several magazine articles for Dunia Istri and Widuri to change the public perception about women’s role in the development of a nation, particularly through agriculture. From then on Tuti understands that being a wife who is willing to follow her husband does not necessarily imply that a woman is weak and unable to be her own person. Tuti also starts to comprehend the beauty of nature she observed in the mountainous location, which does not entail Tuti’s typical analytical mode of understanding. The event symbolizes the unification of Tuti’s rational and emotive halves. This enlightenment allows Tuti to see her goal for gender equality with a higher purpose and meaning. Immersing one’s self in a tranquil nature does not make her secular battle for gender equality trivial, instead it shows her that this issue is not merely a power and intellectual issue. Conversely, the battle for gender equality is about the balance between gender roles and this balance, similar to how it is in nature, is the innate condition of human existence. Similar to the discussion in Putri Sedar, nowadays we can still find debates about the roles of females in our society. We also have more female-oriented or feminist organizations than Tuti’s time. Several opinions about gender have also been published here in Whiteboard Journal. Most women believe that she, and other women, must push themselves to develop their talents and abilities to actualize their aspirations. This belief is identical to Tuti’s perspective about women. Owing to the fact that literature is a reflection of the problems and issues within the period of time it was written, the resemblance between our present reality and ‘Layar Terkembang’ shows that, similar to how it was in the past, this issue is still largely relevant today. Another resemblance is when women nowadays still feel that they sometimes have to choose to boost their career or social relationship. This is a dilemma that the protagonist also experience. Furthermore, Indonesian women today still often refer to the dichotomy of the self, her emotional versus rational self. Especially when handling social relationships such as how a woman should act or relate with the person whom she is fond with. This is also very much like how STA illustrate his female protagonist in 1930s. ‘Layar Terkembang’ offer the readers an insight on how women can approach those matters. Tuti initially thought that she needed to liberate herself from the society’s stereotypical emotional woman attributes in order to be an independent one. However, through the development of Tuti’s character, STA illustrates that being an independent woman does not imply the annihilation of woman’s emotional vulnerability and needs. Here the author indirectly conveys that such a black-and-white perspective is as flawed as the notion that a woman is more often inclined to emotions than rationality. From Tuti’s life, we can pick up that it’s not only more accurate but perhaps actually better for a woman to see herself not as a two interchanging rational-emotional selves but instead to see oneself from a holistic level. Such perspectives may provide an insight to integrate one’s career aspirations and socio-emotional needs. This very old Indonesian literature work is still relevant for us today, especially for women. Other than the moral and social ideas in it, the reader can also have a peek on what it was like in the old Jakarta and Bandung. Particular in ‘Layar Terkembang’, the reader may also see how much our nation has move forward in regards to women’s rights and public perception about women’s identity. Women are already involved in domains that Tuti described in her speech at Putri Sedar National Congress. However, we still struggle to alienate women’s identity with domestic duties. For example, I am sure you have heard that women can be independent and choose their own jobs as long as they do not abandon their domestic duties. In some industries, the expectation for women to carry out their female duties may limit them to get their access to the same opportunity as men and to perform their best at work. Fortunately, there are more and more female-oriented and feminist organizations today. Just like how it started in the past, as illustrated in ‘Layar Terkembang’, hopefully women today will also keep their emancipation spirit high without having to give up their emotional vulnerabilities. __ Bibliography Alisjahbana, S. T. (1936). Layar Terkembang (15th ed.). Jakarta: Balai Pustaka. Mahayana, M. S. (2014). 33 Tokoh Sastra Indonesia Paling Berpengaruh. J. D. Rahman et al. (Eds.). Jakarta: Kepustakaan Populer Gramedia.

Column
01.08.13

Art Across the Sea

On her recent visit Japan, our avid art enthusiast, Mitha Budhyarto shares her eye opening experience in one of Japan's promising art festival, the Setouchi Triennale. Despite the common idea of exhibitions being held in an indoor gallery, In this piece, we learn how the coastal area of “Setouchi” region challenges the ordinary contemporary art spaces.

Column
20.06.13

Art(education) for Everyone

Art appreciation courses are mostly formulated for students in the art and design department. However, the challenge arises for Mitha Budhyarto to take the context of appreciation into a setting where students have limited interest of the arts. How does one push for a knowledgable art engagement? Mitha Budhyarto shares her story.

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