If I were in a room full of men and could get a Rp5000 note every time someone said they don’t like reading fiction, I could go out and buy myself a full meal. 

Alright, that would be a reach, of course, but you get my point. Our general consensus believes that men are less likely to read than women, especially when it comes to fiction. Of course, not all men are like that (let’s get the “Not all men…” argument out of the way now), but this sentiment is something that has persistently appeared and significantly heard as I ventured to adulthood and into various social settings. Many, if they say they like to read, would prefer nonfiction and self-help books; an inspiring zero-to-hero autobiography of a famous figure, or a how-to guide on some business strategies or personal improvements. 

There’s nothing wrong with that, absolutely, but it makes me wonder: Why do so many men my age gravitate more towards those types of books than, say, a romance novel or a bildungsroman? Why is the secret to building a business empire more interesting to them than a new Sally Rooney novel? Is our narrow view of gender preventing more men from enjoying fiction?

I believe fiction as a literary form needs no grand defense, but I still want to make a case for it. We understand fiction as a mere plaything of make-believe, not as something real. In other words, a lie, but “through which we tell the truth,” as Camus says. For nothing in fiction can stand without it being grounded in reality. Its lush branches turn themselves into a mirror, an alternative, a critique, a parody of that very same reality. And this is where many men lose the plot.

Various studies suggest that those who read fiction tend to have more empathy and emotional sensitivity. Reading fiction requires imagination—to assume various identities in various circumstances. It forces you to put yourself into the character’s shoes, to see differences in all of its complexities, and eventually to exercise your own emotions. The emotional labor that is linked and needed to decipher fiction may be too much work for many men. If not, then it is something that isn’t worth the trouble—it may be deemed impractical and uninteresting. So, much like many other things that involve emotions, many men see fiction—especially the romance genre—as somewhat emasculating.

The irony isn’t lost on me that I am writing this as a man myself. I’m not saying that men who read fiction are unquestionably better. This isn’t an indicative test of where their emotional and mental abilities lie. It is only suggesting an existing groundwork. I’m not saying this to pander to a certain demographic either—I say it because I recognize it in myself too. This struggle to be in touch with our emotions, to empathize, to listen, and to step outside our own experiences as men is real. And perhaps that’s why so many men struggle to put themselves in others’ shoes—especially women’s. Because to truly understand their perspectives and struggles, we first have to acknowledge our role in them. 

Karlina Supelli, a philosopher and astronomer, once said that the imagination required to read fiction is necessary for helping us make sense of our world. While many women may lean to fiction as a way to “escape” and return with a deeper understanding of their world, men don’t often do the same. Maybe the fact that we are living in a world that benefits men above all, makes us more inclined to achieve than to escape. It might even be that we’re less willing to address and change the reasons why we feel the need to escape in the first place.

This isn’t just about books. It connects to larger, more dangerous cultural shifts. Many—if not all—societal problems benefit from this model of masculinity that is ignorant, alienating, and inattentive. The very system that grants power to men also victimizes them, creating a paradox at its core. Take a look at how the rise of the manosphere, the side of the internet filled with women-hating extremists that have spawned many famous (and rich) figures such as Andrew Tate, goes hand-in-hand with the growing epidemic of male loneliness. 

As someone who grew up reading fiction, I believe it doesn’t exist just to entertain. In a world that is getting more fragmented than before, with so many struggles and problems presented in front of our own eyes, reading can make us more attuned to ourselves, to the world, and to each other. And if we, as men, want to create a more meaningful connection with others, to do well by others, we should start by opening up ourselves to more stories, to emotions, to the world—the real and the imagined, and to perspectives beyond our own. So, let’s giddy up, boys. Pick up some fiction books, and go on some adventures!