Menemukan Kebersamaan di Media Sosial dan Mengobati Rasa Kesendirian bersama Fathia Izzati
Kami berbincang dengan Fathia Izzati, salah satu kurator buku Open Column 2, tentang menjadi pendengar yang baik, tren wellness hingga potensi media sosial sebagai safe space bagi pengguna.
Words by Whiteboard Journal
Teks: Annisa Nadia Harsa
Bahasan soal kesehatan mental memang baru pada beberapa tahun kebelakang menjadi sorotan publik akibat meningkatnya kesadaran akan isu ini. Seiring dengan bertambahnya diskusi maupun sosialisasi yang mengedukasi masyarakat baik secara offline maupun online, stigma terhadap isu ini – meski belum sepenuhnya hilang – pun telah terubah secara pelan-pelan. Hal ini juga dirasakan oleh Fathia Izzati yang telah lama aktif di ranah online untuk praktiknya sebagai seorang content creator dan musisi. Menjadi salah satu kurator untuk buku cetak kedua kami, Open Column 2, yang berbicara tentang kesehatan mental, kami berbincang tentang Fathia perihal pentingnya untuk menjadi pendengar yang baik, pengaruh musik di sisi emosional pendengar, hingga potensi media sosial sebagai ruang lingkup aman bagi para penggunanya.
Apa itu definisi mental health bagi Anda?
Mental health is very important and should not be overlooked. It involves our psychological well-being and is something that we should take care of every single day.
Bagaimana awal dari adanya kesadaran mengenai pentingnya membuka perbincangan seputar mental health?
I think the first time was waktu awal baru masuk kuliah kali ya, so that was like 2012. But at that time, talking about mental health memang belum the norm, belum hal yang biasa. But for me personally, I kind of already was trying to seek out – by myself – from the internet. Saya juga belum bisa membicarakan hal itu ke siapa-siapa, tapi lebih ke mencari tahu, “Why am I feeling this way? Is this healthy?” Jadi saya baru mencoba mencari tahu lebih tentang itu sendiri waktu kuliah.
Was there a particular trigger atau Anda memang ingin tahu lebih mengenai hal itu?
Trigger-nya karena capek, feeling sad, feeling demotivated, feeling like shit, basically. So, rasa capek itu yang membuat trigger. Rasa capek dan perasaan seperti, “Kayaknya hidup gak kayak gini deh”.
Mengapa Anda melihat perbincangan seputar mental health adalah hal yang penting, terutama saat ini?
Mungkin karena sekarang juga orang-orang sudah tidak malu untuk membicarakan itu. Dan sudah banyak diskusi tentang isu ini, sudah banyak yang post tentang mental health juga, so because everyone else is supporting it, I feel like that’s why now is important.
Memang dulu kan ini bermasalah karena orang-orang berpikir kalau membicarakan tentang mental health itu tabu. Bisa saja kita malah dikatai secara tidak enak misalnya, “Ah lo emang males aja” when someone’s feeling demotivated and feeling super shitty. So, now that people are talking about it, ya jadi penting.
Ketika berbincang mengenai topik-topik mengenai penjagaan mental health, apakah menurut anda titik-titik fokus yang penting untuk diperhatikan?
The first and easiest step is being a good listener.
Harus diperhatikan dari sisi orang yang cerita. As a listener, it’s really dangerous to jump the gun and assume things, so I think it’s really important when someone’s trying to open up and seek help that you listen and that you encourage them, instead of bashing them. And since now people are doing that, I feel like it’s a step closer to becoming a healthier environment for people who do have mental health that is unstable. So that’s a really great way to start opening doors for conversation. So, I guess, the first and easiest step is being a good listener.
Sebagai kurator dari Open Column 2, bagaimanakah Anda melihat diskursus dalam karya-karya yang di-submit untuk buku ini?
So it’s just submissions right? We don’t know if it’s fiction or non-fiction, but reading it there are some pretty dark stuff. So reading things like this makes you feel less alone, makes you feel like everyone is going through something and you shouldn’t feel like you don’t belong. Because when reading the poems and stories, it shows how wow there’s so many levels to it as well. Mental health itu scope-nya gede banget dan tidak cuman misalnya tentang depression atau anxiety, itu juga berakar dari kesenjangan sosial yang ke-translate ke mental health mereka. So, I feel like reading it, it opened my eyes to how diverse it is when we talk about mental health.
Sepanjang karir Anda menjadi musisi, apakah Anda mendapat insight atau cara yang berbeda dalam memandang peranan mental health bagi seseorang?
Sebagai musisi, iya banget. I feel like being in this industry, a lot of people might think that, “Oh lo enak banget,” by not having a 9 to 5, you don’t have to go to the office, and you don’t have to deal with bosses. But in a way, everyone is dealing with their own shit. Struggle-nya memang beda, tapi it doesn’t mean that the struggle isn’t real and isn’t valid. Masih banyak lagi masalah-masalah yang – because we choose this way of life pasti ada masalahnya juga dan bukan enak-enak saja gitu.
It touches an emotional side of people that they wouldn’t normally feel if they were just conversing.
Sekarang, I think within the circle of musicians juga, mungkin tidak sekarang banget, tapi last year was the peak. I feel like everyone was talking about it like Kunto Aji, Baskara Putra. Mereka sudah mulai berani untuk menuangkan pikiran-pikiran mereka ke dalam lagu and itu membantu banget. I feel like music is really a way to connect and to communicate with people through words and melodies, and it touches an emotional side of people that they wouldn’t normally feel if they were just conversing. Misalnya, Kunto Aji, waktu dia membuat album “Mantra Mantra” itu dia beneran konsultasi bareng psikolog. Lewat albumnya dia itu benar-benar ingin membantu people’s mental health. I feel like I’ve learnt a lot and that music is a powerful tool to help communicate with other people.
Apakah perbincangan seputar mental health telah memengaruhi karya-karya Anda, dan bagaimana?
Actually, Reality Club juga ada sejujurnya lagu yang tentang mental health walau memang tidak on the nose banget, judulnya “Vita o morte”, yang artinya life or death and it’s a very personal story of my drummer [Era Patigo]. That song is actually based on his own experience yang memang dia waktu itu sedang pada masa-masa sulitnya, and that he has suicidal thoughts. So, we tried to put that in a song. We didn’t want it to be too on the nose, but that’s actually what the song is about, the “Vita o Morte”.
Lalu apa alasan di balik kenapa kalian tidak mau terlalu on the nose soal isu mental health?
I think because as a band, we didn’t – I mean, memang dari awal we just wanted to make good music that people can enjoy. We didn’t want to have a strong stance, misalnya we’re not very political. And we want it to be very relatable, makanya misalnya ada orang yang memang tidak ada suicidal thoughts, kita tidak mau mereka malah jadi ada. We want it to be just very basic, but if you feel it, you feel it. If you want to cry, just cry. Makanya, I think we didn’t want to be too on the nose not because we didn’t want to bring up an issue, we just brought up an issue in our own way and that’s how we did it.
Sebagai content creator, bagaimana Anda melihat peranan media sosial dalam perbincangan seputar mental health?
Actually, social media is another ally of its own now that people are talking about it. Dulu itu parah banget, people literally don’t care about what they write on the internet and they don’t care at all how it affects other people’s mental health. Kalau masalah hate comments, I’ve gotten my fair share of hate comments. But in the end, it’s up to you whether you want to take it to heart or not. Tapi sebenarnya orang-orang juga perlu diedukasi kalau their words do hurt. Nah sekarang I really love that now it’s a trend to encourage other people to have a healthy lifestyle, which helps their mental state. Kan sekarang it’s all about wellness, green living, and slow living. It’s a trend that I think is really healthy karena dulu itu, apa lagi di masa-masa Tumblr, was so dark. The photos were very triggering and that could really play into the psychological aspect of youngins. The Tumblr era was when I was 15-16, and I didn’t realize how much it has affected me until now. Misalnya dulu, they’re showing pictures about cutting and it used to be cool somehow. So I really appreciate how social media is now trying to bring up the healthy kind of lifestyle and I feel like people are a bit more educated now, terutama bagaimana their actions could affect other people.
Bagaimanakah Anda melihat peranan komunitas online baik itu Instagram ataupun YouTube dalam upaya untuk menjaga optimisme dan peranannya bagi mental health saat ini?
Even this book [Open Column 2] is a step to opening that door untuk bisa ngobrolin tentang ini. Sejujurnya I have personally never been diagnosed, but because I am a content creator, I have interviewed a couple of people who were. Misalnya Hana Madness, oh my gosh I learned so much. She said that the first thing that you need to do is just start talking about it and start listening. I think she has bipolar but she’s proud of it because she lives with it every day and she’s showing it in her own way through her art. Nah, as an online community, to just encourage each other menurut saya sudah cukup. Dan misalnya membuka panel-panel diskusi yang membicarakan soal isu ini – atau membuat buku tentang ini – itu sudah cukup.
Dengan keterbatasan yang ada dalam berkegiatan dan bepergian, apakah Anda mengalami hambatan untuk terus berkreasi, dan bagaimana mengatasinya?
Oh my gosh it’s so stressful to be honest. Like I feel like I’m on a roller coaster, because like one day I can just be very accepting, and it’s like phases. Even in one day ada banyak phase-nya. Dari awalnya sebel, bete, tidak tahu disappointed ke mana, frustasi, terus bisa juga sudah merasa menerima. Sudah melewati banyak banget sih. Dan I love it when people actually show us about how they feel because it kind of makes you feel less alone. Well, even through Instagram Stories, melihat orang-orang yang memang misalnya dia masih di rumah aja, terus kayak melihat Vira (Talisa) mengurus tanaman saja sudah menyenangkan rasanya. Kayak, “Oh emang semua orang tuh in this shit together and like working towards how they can cope through this.” Ada yang gardening lah, ada yang baking, kayak tiba-tiba semua orang jadi jualan itu saya senang banget melihatnya karena they’re trying to be productive in their own way. Also semua orang yoga, oh my gosh I love it.
How do I cope with it? Honestly, Netflix (tertawa). Netflix iya banget tapi saya juga korban yoga by subscribing to yoga applications. I feel like I’m learning a lot, all of the things that I wanted to do but didn’t have the time to, now it’s like no more excuses, kan? So I’m really on Skillshare, I have been taking up on Spanish lessons again. Getting close to family itu penting banget sih. Walaupun sekarang sudah sedikit muak ya karena di rumah saya itu benar-benar rame banget karena semuanya di rumah. Cuman ya, now is the time, that’s how I cope with it. Making music, writing, keeping myself busy.
Namun dengan banyaknya hal yang bisa dilakukan di rumah, apakah Anda merasa adanya lomba produktivitas dalam situasi ini?
Honestly saya tidak merasa seperti itu, tapi I understand how people can feel that way. Kayak, “Kok di masa-masa pandemi gini kalian masih bisa menghasilkan uang?” I honestly don’t feel that way. I think I’ve seen a post saying, “this is a pandemic not a productivity contest”.
Exactly.
Yeah and since that post, saya jadi menyadari kalau memang berarti bukan saya saja yang merasakan itu, jadi ya sudah tidak apa-apa. Whatever you do that can help you go by, lakukan saja, tidak usah melihat kiri-kanan.
Cara lain apakah yang menurut Anda mudah dilakukan untuk tetap menjaga mental health, optimisme, dan lainnya di tengah pandemi ini?
Focus on the future? I feel like it’s so stressful these times, but if you focus So, talk to somebody, it really helps.
on what we can do to help at least slow down the rate of this pandemic by staying home the past three to four months, that really makes me feel a bit better. Honestly now I feel like I’m becoming a homebody. Dulu itu saya paling tidak bisa di rumah, saya itu pasti banyak pergi keluar, apalagi waktu weekend. But now being at home, it actually makes me feel comfortable. Kemarin sekalinya saya ke luar, terus dompet saya hilang, kayak “Oh no, I should’ve stayed home”. Memang di rumah itu ternyata enak banget.
I get how people can get very lonely. Keeping a relationship is so hard I feel like I’m in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend even though he’s in Jakarta. Susah banget. But we got by, by calling, main PUBG bareng sambil mengobrol. For me I think that talking to my sister really helps. Seeing my friends yang anak tunggal, mereka bingung dan jadi benar-benar mencari teman. Everybody is on Bumble karena walaupun mereka tidak bisa ketemuan, it’s just because they want to talk to somebody. So, talk to somebody, it really helps. I have all the sister time in the world now. I have two sisters, jadi kita bertiga itu sering merumpi malam-malam. My sister juga pernah bilang, “I’m so lonely I have no one to talk to”, but you can talk to me. I feel like bonding with family is definitely a way and focusing on the future. Karena sekarang tidak bisa melakukan apa-apa, saya dan pacar saya jadi membahas masa depan melulu. Semuanya dimasukkan ke bucket list, nanti ke sana, nanti ke sini, tapi tidak tahu juga kapan.